I have always loved this song and was elated when my husband recorded a cover of it for me for Christmas.
He told me that he was going to do something, but I was under the impression that it would be an acoustic version of one of his own songs. He will write something pretty, calm and melodic, and then after he sends it to his friend for mixing, it comes back a little lot more on the metal side. I still love the songs, but I think he has a beautiful voice and I actually wanted to be able to hear it over the bass and guitars…
Last fall was not a great period for my husband and I. We were both dealing with the heartache of a miscarriage and I was struggling with depression. Instead of relying on him for support, I tried to cope on my own using various distraction tactics. I ran a lot. I wrote a lot. But what I didn’t do was really open up to him and allow him to grieve with me.
There were other feelings I also didn’t share because I didn’t think he would understand, or maybe he would understand and would judge me for them. I don’t know why after 9 years of marriage I should think that. He has always been by my side, supporting each and every decision I have made. Sometimes fear does crazy things to your thought processes.
I did open up to him just recently, and I feel like the weight has finally been lifted off my shoulders. My husband and I have been slowly getting back to our ‘normal’ selves. This last week it seems like we have taken leaps and bounds as far as feeling close to each other again. Our goals are in line with each other, and we are both determined not to let any situation pull us apart again.
As I was listening to this song last night, I realized how hard my husband was trying to reach me during those rough times. It still surprises me that he didn’t walk away and leave me with my selfishness and self-pity. Sometimes I don’t think I deserve his love, but I am grateful for it nonetheless.
This song will always be a reminder to me of what I have and what I could have lost. I know that there will still be trials in our future, but right now I am content.