Under The Milky Way…

I have always loved this song and was elated when my husband recorded a cover of it for me for Christmas.

He told me that he was going to do something, but I was under the impression that it would be an acoustic version of one of his own songs. He will write something pretty, calm and melodic, and then after he sends it to his friend for mixing, it comes back a little lot more on the metal side. I still love the songs, but I think he has a beautiful voice and I actually wanted to be able to hear it over the bass and guitars…

Last fall was not a great period for my husband and I. We were both dealing with the heartache of a miscarriage and I was struggling with depression. Instead of relying on him for support, I tried to cope on my own using various distraction tactics. I ran a lot. I wrote a lot. But what I didn’t do was really open up to him and allow him to grieve with me.

There were other feelings I also didn’t share because I didn’t think he would understand, or maybe he would understand and would judge me for them. I don’t know why after 9 years of marriage I should think that. He has always been by my side, supporting each and every decision I have made. Sometimes fear does crazy things to your thought processes.

I did open up to him just recently, and I feel like the weight has finally been lifted off my shoulders. My husband and I have been slowly getting back to our ‘normal’ selves. This last week it seems like we have taken leaps and bounds as far as feeling close to each other again. Our goals are in line with each other, and we are both determined not to let any situation pull us apart again.

As I was listening to this song last night, I realized how hard my husband was trying to reach me during those rough times. It still surprises me that he didn’t walk away and leave me with my selfishness and self-pity. Sometimes I don’t think I deserve his love, but I am grateful for it nonetheless.

This song will always be a reminder to me of what I have and what I could have lost. I know that there will still be trials in our future, but right now I am content.


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12 Responses to Under The Milky Way…

  1. Maxxy says:

    OMG – that is SOOOOOOO good. Who’s song is it then ?? What instruments does he play ?? and how does he get that sound ?? Does he have a myspace or other music page ?? Sorry lots of questions, but it really is good, and I’d love to know what stuff he uses…

  2. kspin says:

    The Church is the original band who wrote this song back in 1987? Wow, I’m old. Anyway, here is a link to check out the video.

    I’ll have my husband email you the rest of the info! Thanks for your comment!

  3. bookbabie says:

    They are good, I faintly remember hearing them in the 90s. Your post was well written. I’m sorry to hear about the miscarriage but I’m glad you’ve been able to talk to your husband about how you feel recently. I remember once years ago I was really sick in bed. I felt so alone and my prayer went from, “please make me feel better”, to “please help me to not feel so alone”. Suddenly, my husband walked into the room, he had left work early to check on me. It was an “aha” moment and I swear if he had been glowing with golden light right then I wouldn’t have been surprised. Sometimes I think we just aren’t praying for the right things:)

  4. kspin says:

    I think the problem I had was that I was forgetting to pray. Sometimes I think I am able to handle most things on my own, and now I know that that is not the case.

    Thanks for your comment and insight, I especially like the ‘golden light’ part. I can so relate to that right now! It sounds like we are two lucky wives!

  5. Autumn says:

    This was a beautiful post, and song. It’s so hard sometimes to remember to reach out to our husbands- or to remember that they are hurting and going through stuff, too. Finding that place again is a definite healer. Been there myself, on a few things. Finding that connection again is a life saver.

  6. tenacioustimothy says:

    Great post- went through more or less the same but it didn’t work itself out so great to hear that it did for the two of you! Great song as well:-)

  7. mysoulsleeps says:

    Great song, great voice and i so feel for you both as i know how it feels to lose a baby.
    You need to talk about it get those feelings out otherwise its just going to eat away at you.
    Love to you both and i hope things work out well for you

    much love
    Kirst x

  8. Love this post. Very honest and real! 🙂

  9. sleepyjane says:

    OMG MAXX AND VAMPS ARE BOTH HERE?!?! *NIC WAVES LIKE A MAD WOMAN AT THEM* HI HI HI! 🙂

    Sorry – they’re good friends to me in the world of blog. 🙂

    I agree with all the other people. This is a great blog post. I’m SO sorry to hear about your loss. *hugs* I’m glad you and your husband has reconnected.

    Just so you know I’m adding you to my blogroll. I HAVE to read more of your blog! 🙂

  10. Colin says:

    I read your blog all the time. It’s always great, but this was an especially touching post. I wanted to comment but hadn’t yet. It’s obvious that you’re very articulate and creative and I just hope your husband truly appreciates that side of you. As a husband, I know I’m not always the best at letting my wife know how incredible she is or how much I appreciate her. This post was a reminder to me that I need to do more of that. I hope you two have a long and happy life together!

  11. kspin says:

    Me too ‘Colin’, and thank you. 🙂

  12. Maxxy says:

    Hey Kspin, Took me a while to notice your username, but your added to my allowed list now hehehe. Can you thank hubby for all his info so far, he’s got a lot of knowledge and I hope I can learn a few things from him.

    “Maxx” ;o)

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